Soul-searching Saturday

Well, I had started doing this “Totes Real Tuesdays” with a friend who had put a link up on her blog, but completely forgot about it this week. I was glad to read today that she had too much going on to really get to hers as well. Made me feel a little better about missing it! 😄 Anyways, I found myself in a heated discussion on facebook today. I don’t really see how we can call it that when I never actually spoke to the person, but whatevs. I’m a little embarrassed to say it started with a link that my preacher had posted. It was about ADHD and how the so-called “scientific father of ADHD” had, on his deathbed, made a statement that indicated ADHD was a fictitious illness. The article itself was a little questionable, in my opinion, but that wasn’t what got my blood boiling. Nope, that was actually done when I read a comment that was made by a friend of his. And, it wasn’t even some awful comment. It was, however, obvious that this person had no real experience with the disorder. Well, for those of you who have known me for a long time, you won’t be surprised when I say that I was pretty unforgiving in my rebuttal of his statements. If you haven’t known me for a long time, well, I hope I haven’t marred your opinion of me by saying that. I am very opinionated and very much an independent thinker. I also have a hard time letting something go when I know i am right about it. It’s a character flaw that I’ve apparently passed on to my son. It doesn’t really matter what the debate was about or who “won” it, but it was another opportunity, that I passed up, to be the bigger person and show love. There are those who would say that my stubbornness isn’t really a big deal and that I shouldn’t concern myself with trying to change that part of me. They’re a little bit right. I mean, it isn’t really THAT big of a deal, in the grand scheme of things, that I tend to be hard-headed when it comes to what I know to be true and correct. But in this scenario, it would have done me more good to have been less opinionated and more compassionate. See, I know that God desires me to have love for my fellow man and to help lead them to Him. It struck me in a big way that I definitely was NOT a good example of Christ’s love when I made those remarks today. I may have been right, but that didn’t give me free reign to be sharp and rude in my responses. I didn’t say anything ugly or call anyone names or anything, but my tone was pretty clear. It wasn’t long after that when I saw another friend’s post that brought me back down. She wasn’t speaking directly about me and she wasn’t even aware of the exchange that had taken place, but God used her post to remind me that I should be striving for His greatness and not my own personal justification. Like the Hawk Nelson song, “Words” says: Words can build us up. Words can break us down. Start a fire in our hearts or put it out. Let my words be life. Let my words be truth. I don’t wanna say a word, unless it points the world back to You. I have always been someone who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. I do try NOT to be rude, but always had the mindset that as long as I was telling the truth about something, it didn’t matter how I said it. Logically, I knew that was untrue, but it didn’t stop me from living like that. I need to be mire careful about the way I use my words. How can I expect to teach my children how to speak and act with God’s love if I don’t practice it myself? So, with all that said, I do apologize to both my preacher and his friend for that show of behavior. I can’t promise that it won’t happen again because, after all, I am a sinful human, but I can promise that I will be making more of an effort to get it right.

Oh, and btw, this is the first ever post that I’ve made with my phone! I’m pretty stoked about that!


One thought on “Soul-searching Saturday

  1. This is the best you can do to correct shortcomings we all have…’You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.’ First to God and then to those involved. You know we’ve talked about this before, I hope in a loving way because in the end it is the communication you want. You want the others to ‘listen’ not just hear what is said. If, like you said, you speak with a tone that becomes offensive to the listener, communication is generally lost. I will also be praying as always for you specifically on this.

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